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January 24, 2005 - 11:03 a.m.

It is an interesting thing the human mind. People and their mental states are so flexible. At some point, when the stress is too much � the mind begins to process things differently. The tragic becomes somehow less tragic and the ordinary is noticed for its gross absurdity at times. It is that ability that keeps us all alive. It is that knack of switching gears so that you can keep operating that makes man so impressive.
Lately I have been living quite the absurd life. Just when I think it has started to settle out to some level of normalcy there is yet more upheaval and another crisis. Of course with crisis comes the ability to observe the bizarre. Want bizarre? THIS is definitely bizarre � http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php To be honest I can�t really tell you if it is funny or if I was just too close to the end of my sanity rope when I linked it � but god did I laugh � too much did I laugh.
My weekend was action packed. Started with running rescue Thursday night and consequently not getting enough sleep to get on the road Friday night. Instead I napped wit the cats and got up at �still too dark and cold to be awake on a weekend� I did manage to get all the way down to N.N. before any weather hit so I suspect the hour was worth it. Mom was in really good spirits on Saturday. She was up, dressed and bored when I got there. Boredom is such a double edged thing. On the one hand it is a great sign that she is well enough to be bored. On the other hand with boredom comes depression. Depression is killer. Happily though � I had brought my laptop. My laptop includes solitaire. Strange isn�t it � solitaire on a computer is nearly mesmerizing � it is never that way with a deck of cards. Why is that I wonder. In any case � I had to do errands and meet with people on her behalf. She got to play with my puter.
Really the weekend was a blurr. One 30 degree and raining (someone please explain THAT to me) cold wet blurr. I was hit by a car (17 year old driver) at a gas station. I guess he hadn�t learned to drive on ice yet. Since he was obviously terrified by what he had done, and since I had a list of things to do longer than my arm, I gave him a stern word or too and carried on with the list. There is something definitely odd with your planet when getting hit by a car is an aside to the weekend. *shrug* no blood, no foul.
So a brief where is Mom living update � she is not able to continue to stay at the Assisted Living place that she has been for the past two months. Her health is just too brittle for them. At present she is still in the hospital, but should be getting out � soon? From there she is expected to go to a place that is still Assisted Living but with higher nursing care abilities. We are all hoping that this is a good fit for her. The only other remaining option after that is your traditional �Nursing Home� you know the type � no private rooms, bad lighting and silence only broken by daytime soaps and moans? Understandably, she is not willing to consider that an option for having any quality of life.
To all of you that have offered your help, that have wished me well and offered prayers for Mom. Thank you. It means so much that I have friends that are so loving and willing to be there for me. If there is a blessing in all of this hell that my family has been living in the past approaching a year now, it is the realization that I have the finest people in my life. People ask me � �if there is anything that I can do �� I wish many times that there was something tangible that I could pass off. I had an offer not long ago from a friend to come and do my laundry and clean my house � for a few moments I wanted to scream oh YEAH that would be a godsend. (Lord knows I am not keeping up with it). But when I got home last night � I started working on picking up laundry and filing some bills. These are the normal things. Having my cats at my feet watching the nightly news � this is the sanity in the world. Without these basics, it is all just crisis and chaos. So thank you for the offers � just knowing that I have friends that would is a great boost to me. Here is to hoping that nothing interferes with my plan to vacuum on Wednesday night!

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